To all you non believers, this is proof Bigfoot is real. 100% real. Painfully real at that. I’m tired of hearing people say my friend Bigfoot isn’t real. I’ve been holding this picture in my back pocket for quite sometime and I think it’s about time I post it. 

My friend Lil Ryan and I often venture into the woods to meet up with our great friend/side kick Bigfoot. He’s about 7 feel 10 inches, has hands are like a linebackers, he smells like orange body wash from Bath & Body Works, and has a diet like nothing you’ve seen before. It’s weird, for as much as he loves to wrestle with us in the dirt and play catch in the ice cold river streams, he manages to smell like orange body wash all the time. I’ve continually asked him for his secret. He also doesn’t like to be called any other name than Bigfoot. He hates that movie Harry And The Hendersons. Matter of fact, he always says “Why would I want to be called Harry? It’s literally the worst.” I agree with him.

The history behind this photo is, we wanted to plank together while Lil Ryan took the picture. I laid in the plank position while Bigfoot was getting into his. While in the process of counting to three, Bigfoot thought it would be funny to strike a pose instead of planking. This guy. Always trying to steal the moment. We love this picture too much to take any others with him. I think the most difficult part in this photo was to make myself look blurred along with Bigfoot. Also, all these commercials you see about messing with Sasquatch for the Jack’s Link’s are true stories. You know who they got those true stories from? Lil Ryan and I. We’ve seen Bigfoot shred on the acoustic guitar when we would lounge around camp fires during story time countless of times. Or when someone wouldn’t let him kick the football so he punted them like the dog Baxter in Anchorman. Bigfoot isn’t just our great friend, side kick, mentor, and security guard. He’s REAL. I hope this erases any disbelief’s you have in my friend Bigfoot. Don’t be dumb, believe.

P.S. To this day, I’m still trying to find out how he smells so good all the time.  

Outfit:

Shirt - American Apparel - Red

Pants - Levi’s Super Skinny Jeans - Black

Shoes - Vans Hemp Rata Vulc - Size 10

Camera:

Old Kodak point and shoot. I don’t remember the model of it. Lil Ryan lost it. 

First off, I like to think my planks are impossible. Humanly impossible at that. Therefore why not continue to up the stakes with my planks? I love the internet and I love Google. We all love the internet and love Google. It’s just a fact of life. You can’t deny it and I can’t deny it. I thought to myself, why not take a casual stroll inside the Google home page and plank across the logo? So that’s what I did and here is how it happened.

Last night our internet/cable kept going in and out. I started to get pissed because I was switching back and forth between my favorite shows, Bravo’s The Housewives Of Orange County and DIY Network’s Yard Crashers. I went into our office and kept unplugging and plugging in the cable line. Somehow I got sucked into the internet and ended up in the Fandango Movie page. I read a couple movie reviews that I was curious about and rated some recent movies I’ve seen. While I’m on this subject, Super 8 is a superb movie and I suggest you go see it. I went up to the book marks page and hit Facebook. I started deleted people’s status updates. It was pretty funny watching people get frustrated as they write their status update, hit enter and 20 seconds later I delete it. LOLZ. I didn’t want my wife to wonder why I was in the office for so long so I quickly jetted over to Google’s home page and climbed up onto their logo and planked it. The hardest part was trying to jump up and grab a hold of the search bar so I could pull myself up. While I planked across their logo, I screen shot myself. I jumped down and ventured back through the cable line. It’s funny, this whole incident reminded me of the movie TRON. I was hoping to see TRON’s Kevin Flynn in this process. Maybe next time. I’d like to thank Google, internet problems, and Facebook status updates for this internet moment.

Outfit:

Shirt - American Apparel - Red

Pants - Levi Super Skinny Jeans - Black

Shoes - Vans Hemp Rata Vulc - Size 10

Camera:

Screen Shot

We all knew this day was coming. August 7th was finally here. The day my brother/friend/room mate Barry Bonds would break Hank Aaron’s home run record. I’ve been friends with Barry Bonds for quite sometime now. We grew up in the streets of Riverside California. On summer break we’d walk to the Tyler Mall and hit up the Hot Dog On A Stick place. Great corn dogs with fabulous service. He would tell me his dreams of becoming this All-Star baseball player. I felt it was my duty to get him there and make this home run moment ours.

I gave him a pep talk before we went to bat. I said “Hey Bonds, remember those good o’l days when we’d drink ice cold lemonades in the sun and you said I want to break Hank Aaron’s home run record? Well todays the day and you don’t even need steriods!” He looked at me and chuckled. “Oh Geoff, you’re the best friend/bat a Bond could have.” He took off the bat weight that was around my waist and we walked to the plate. I said “Just wait for that right pitch, low and outside, just how we like it.” He swung and we conquered. Home run 756 was hit that night. To this day I can’t put into words how majestic that night was. I want to thank Mr. Barry Bonds, dreams, and summer breaks for this record breaking moment.

Also, do you notice my stylish red helmet? Safety first kids. 

Outfit:

Shirt - American Apparel - Red

Pants - Levi Super Skinny Jeans - Black

Shoes - Vans Hemp Rata Vulc - Size 10

Helmet - Rawlings Pro Batter Helmet

Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark ll Digital SLR   

Lense: Canon EF Telephoto zoom lens - 70 mm - 200mm - F/2.8

So I went to the movies the other day and the preview for Captain America came up. It gave me an idea about a new plank. I thought to myself, how can I get more American than Captain America himself? This is really the only thing that can top him. A bald eagle landing on my ass while standing proud. Here is how I achieved this great moment.

I knew I had to have a great ab core to do this move. I’ve been training on the Total Gym by Chuck Norris for quite sometime now and I felt ready. I had to silently climb this tree and sit in it while preparing the food for Mr. Bald eagle. I prepared some fish and put in on my back while I laid out off this branch. I must have been laying there for close to 4 mins then, BAM. This huge American bald eagle just landed on my ass. He stayed there for about 2 minutes and took off. I felt a connection that day that I haven’t felt in a long time. It was as if the bald eagle landed and said, “It’s done Geoff. You’ve done it.” I want to thank Mr. Bald eagle, mother nature, and America for this red, white, and blue moment.

Outfit:

Shirt - American Apparel - Red

Pants - Levi Super Skinny Jeans - Black

Shoes - Vans Hemp Rata Vulc - Size 10

Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark ll Digital SLR   

Lense: Canon EF Telephoto zoom lens - 70 mm - 200mm - F/2.8

I’ve been wanting to plank on a shark for sometime now and what better shark to do this on than a Great White shark. We had to plan this perfectly or else it wouldn’t work. The game plan was to float in the water and act like bait. I had to act almost as if I was a dead seal. As soon I saw the shark coming to breach out of the water I assumed the plank position. As the Great White shark came up with so much force on my belly, I had to hold my position. My wife timed this perfectly and was able to snap the shot. I want to say thank you to my wife, the ocean, and my friend the Great White shark for making this moment possible.

Outfit:

Shirt - American Apparel - Red

Pants - Levi Super Skinny Jeans - Black

Shoes - Vans Hemp Rata Vulc - Size 10

Camera:

Kodak 35mm One-Time-Use Disposable Camera ISO-400 with Flash